I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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