I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
