my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
