if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
