I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
