I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
