I wish I could teleport
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
