My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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