My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize