Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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