sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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