I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
