If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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