he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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