I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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