the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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