Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
