: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
