Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
