Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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