Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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