I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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