I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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