Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
