The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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