i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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