I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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