I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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