oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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