Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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