We're facebook friends in real life
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
