i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
