i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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