I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
