I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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