so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I FOUND THE LEGS
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
