i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
no more duck duck goose at the bar
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
