i permit you to call me
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
