I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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