That's intense
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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