I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i barfeds in our rink
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
