p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
