It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
