dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Mom said you looked used
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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