I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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