My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
