i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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