You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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