Having a random hookup so left but love u
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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