My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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