i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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