I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
