Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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