jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
