Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
one two three fourrrrnication!
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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