I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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