Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
