I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Send help, water and tortillas.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
