True but thats because hes a fetus.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
